The following is taken from an email to a dear friend regarding resolutions and the importance of looking back before walking forward:

Life Part XXIIVCX: How the @#$& Did I get Here? (or Being Thankful)

Currently I am listening to the best of Billy Joel, specifically ‘For The Longest Time’, a brilliant classic in my humble opinion.

Well the past few months has been, honestly, the most amazingly difficult time in my entire life. The things that I have done, and the way I have been pushed into leadership, sometimes at my own begging, has really been transforming me into the best version of myself.

There is so much more to grow in and learn about, and I still make so many mistakes, but I’ve hit this interesting state of perpetual hopefulness. It’s like subconsciously I’ve begun to actually believe there are great things to be done in my life, and my purpose on this planet is far far bigger then anything I can describe or imagine. All the things I’ve had to deal with and all the crazy situations I have willingly thrown myself into only served to sharpen and shape me into what I need to be in order to accomplish what lays ahead. It’s hard to describe it and it’s not that I’ve become prideful or over-confident. In fact, I’ve become increasingly more aware of my failures, faults and shortcomings, but in an odd non-melancholic way, it’s okay. There is hope.

God has truly been teaching me what it means to be a man, a leader, and eventually a husband and father. He’s taught me how to really love the toughest times, and to find joy in every struggle I face. I don’t know if I’m making any semblance of sense, but I’m doing my best to process my thoughts and communicate honestly to you.
So much has happened here, but at the same time it’s so easy to pass over and forget about. Every day I have to fight to remind myself everything that God has done, and what He continues to do. 

My friends calls me Dad. It makes me laugh and it is strangely accurate, as I really have a ridiculous love for them that goes far beyond anything I have experienced before. I want so badly the absolute best for every one of them, and am now in a position where I am partially responsible for that. God has really opened my eyes, and shown me the best and the grand potential He has placed there within them, and I’m at a point where I would without hesitation do anything and everything for them. It’s weird how life seems to run in circles, as now that I am in this position I understand not only Him a lot better, but the pressure, and challenges, my own dad faced in raising me. How all he did was really in my best interest and came out of a place of love and selflessness.

I feel like I’m rambling, so I guess that my only resolution this year is meet every challenge with joy, and every struggle with excitement. To treat vulnerability as an honour, and to never stop refining the man I am becoming.
You are incredible, and I pray for you often. Kilometers mean nothing in the honest fact of our friendship.

Also, I’m going to watch An American Tail II: Fievel Goes West tonight, and couldn’t be more excited. If you haven’t seen it I suggest you do, as it provided a large portion of my favourite childhood memories.

Ryan

Wishing you all a Happy New Year from far away, and may we all find after the next 12 months, a stronger and more joyful version of ourselves.

Cheers.